Therapy feedback

To show the effect of the constellation work, I quote the feedback from a participant six months after attending a therapy seminar:

“I have already had some therapy experiences elsewhere regarding the symbiotic solution in my family system, which were also effective, but only lasted for a shorter period of time. Ultimately, they didn’t have the long-term effect. I told myself I’m on my way.

A few months have passed since the constellation with you and I am currently going through a situation in my family that would have let me slip into familiar patterns before the therapy with you. But this time it’s different for me. I can demarcate myself! It feels very strange to me at first.

The question that arises to me is: ‘Can I let it go well even if others in my family are not doing well?’ My current answer is: ‘Yes, I can!’ I am now living this new feeling! I allow it myself, for the first time! What a win! The new situation saves me the loss of strength and self-esteem that I have suffered so far, without a loss of empathy. Your method of symbiotic solution is so simple, but as is so often the case, the simple thing is the most effective.”

A poem of my own describes these relationships with a picture:

YOUR SELF IS LIKE A ROSE…

The point of the rose is to bloom, to show its beauty, to waste its scent and to turn into a fruit.

The rose opens when the tight narrowness of the bud is more painful than the shyness to open up, to show itself…

Your SELF is like a rose…
It wants to unfold, show itself,
give and receive love…

To open up, you need four certainties:
I can be there…
I am right the way I am…
I am worth loving…
I can protect myself… (the thorns!)

That is natures gift to you: three petals,
and fourth, the thorns that protect the flower.

Sometimes, however, the bud does not dare to open.
Maybe someone scared her, told her:
You don’t have the right to be there…
You are wrong, shouldn’t be a rose…
You don’t have the right to be seen, admired, loved…
You don’t have the right to defend yourself, to show your thorns…

In order to blossom, it then needs someone who reminds her of what she has always known inside. Someone to help her create the space in which she can be free and safe.

(Ernst R. Langlotz, Munich, 07.07.08)